Breastfeeding Advice I’d Give If I Wasn’t Afraid to Hurt Your Feelings
- Reagan O'Connor
- Jan 14
- 5 min read
Supply — it’s easy to lose and hard to restore (but not impossible).
With my first baby, I was inexperienced and lacked knowledge and good breastfeeding support. I desperately wanted to nurse my baby, but when the time came, it didn’t work for us.
I had complications after delivery and was afraid to nurse while on painkillers. In the meantime, I was pumping - sporadically - with a non–hands-free pump. I hated it.
And I threw away all that liquid gold because I thought the baby couldn’t have it.
By the time I got the pediatrician’s OK to nurse, my supply was already in jeopardy.
I also didn’t understand the benefit of cluster feeding when it comes to bringing milk in. My boobs were tired. My nipples were bleeding. I was exhausted. When my baby wanted to feed every hour, I assumed it meant my supply was low and I would top her off with formula.
I didn’t realize that all that cluster feeding was exactly what was helping my milk come in to meet my baby’s needs.
That being said — my baby was formula fed and is now happy, healthy, intelligent, rarely gets sick, and is thriving. I will never hate on formula. I used it with my first two babies, and I am incredibly thankful to have something that helped them thrive when I couldn’t provide breastmilk.
My supply advice:
Feed the baby early and often.
If you’re worried about your supply, go to your room, shut the door, lock it, take your shirt off, and get your baby down to just a diaper. Snuggle. Nurse. Enjoy nonstop skin-to-skin for a full day.
Have good support.
Before you have your baby, identify someone who has had a successful breastfeeding journey. Reach out beforehand and say,
“Hey, I’m probably going to ask you a lot of questions — do you mind?”
Spoiler alert: they won’t mind.
Breastfeeding nuances can be challenging, and most moms genuinely want to help other moms.
Contact a lactation consultant. There are so many available online if you don’t have one locally. Even as an experienced breastfeeding mom, I reached out to a lactation consultant after my fourth baby.
Comically, her response to me was:
“Well, usually I can be more helpful than this… but yes, you’re doing everything right.”
This was the online resource I used:
And in the same vein — silence the naysayers. If anyone doubts your ability to breastfeed or insists that formula is superior and breastmilk won’t satisfy your baby, shut it out and lean into your support instead.
Breastfeeding is easier than formula.
There, I said it.
Once you figure out the nuances of breastfeeding, it is so much easier than packing bottles, warming formula, worrying about running out, or preparing feeds on the go.
For me, going anywhere with a formula-fed baby felt like a whole ordeal. I love knowing that as long as I’m near my baby, my baby will be fed. Pull out a boob and call it a day.
There is immense satisfaction in pumping a lot of milk — and conversely, immense anxiety when you don’t pump much.
Even now, with a solid supply and over 100 ounces in the freezer, if I pump and don’t get much, I still spiral. Just remember:
Supply waxes and wanes throughout the day
What you pump does not equal what your baby gets at the breast
Babies are more efficient than pumps
You also do not need a massive freezer stash. Is it nice? Sure. Is it necessary? No.
A week’s worth of milk in the freezer is plenty. Anything beyond that is a bonus. And if you work, remember: the milk you pump on Monday feeds your baby on Tuesday.
In my opinion, the easiest way to slowly build a stash is simply catching letdown in the early weeks using a passive pump.
Boon trove - https://amzn.to/49GYOuo
Momcozy - https://amzn.to/3YAPnHP
Pro tip: Have two passive milk pumps!
My favorite milk storage bags - (literally the most elite bags)
People will judge you for breastfeeding in public. Let it roll off your back.
Covered or uncovered. Quiet corner or center of the room. Feed your baby. Your baby is the priority. Everyone else’s feelings can take a backseat.
I recently had a parent-teacher conference and had to nurse the baby during the meeting. I pulled my whole boob out and breast-fed my baby during our parent teacher conference. Afterwards, when I told my daughter that her teacher saw my whole boob, I think she was mortified… But I just laughed it off. Baby’s gotta eat!
Babies need to eat. Good people understand that.
If you’re more comfortable nursing with a cover, I like ones that have a little structure at the top so you can see your baby.
This one is only $10, and it’s made of muslin, my favorite! 10/10 recommend.
The weight may not “just fall off.”
In fact, you may gain weight while breastfeeding - even if you’re doing everything “right.” With my third baby, I ran 5k’s until delivery and worked out multiple days a week. I gained 29 pounds, lost a few after delivery, and held onto the remaining 25 until I finished breastfeeding. Now, seven weeks postpartum with baby number four… I’m still holding onto 25 pounds out of the 30 that I gained. I’m not sure how that math maths… because they say like your placenta is heavy and the baby weighed 6 pounds so if you take 30-6 minus whatever the placenta weighed minus whatever extra fluid I had on board… I don’t know something doesn’t seem right, but whatever.
My body wanted the extra fat stores for nursing.
Knowing this doesn’t make it easier - it’s incredibly frustrating - but your body is doing what it needs to do for your baby.
Milk letdowns can be intense.
If I have a letdown when I’m not nursing, I have to stop everything and press my hands to my breasts so I don’t leak. It’s tingly, intense, and honestly uncomfortable. Good breast pads matter.
And I really don’t like the Lansinoh ones. They bunch up and fall off so easy.
My disposable nursing pad recommendation - https://amzn.to/4b16Ws0
I never tried the reusable pads, to me it seems like it would be a sock type situation. I would put them in the wash and I’m certain only one would come out. I’m afraid my dryer would eat nursing pads the same way it eats socks.
Some babies eat every two hours and cannot stretch to three or four hours on breastmilk.
This is normal.
This is okay.
This is exhausting.
I’ve always been jealous of moms whose babies go 3–4 hours. I guess I just make very hungry babies - because that has never been true for mine.
And finally… it might be your favorite thing you ever do.
When your nursing baby looks up at you and smiles, everything else feels unimportant. There is something so special, rewarding, and joyful about breastfeeding.
It’s a lot like having kids — it’s hard to explain why it’s so great. You may just have to experience it to understand.
Share with me your experience ! Is there anything I missed? What would you add?
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